


Somnium

by Fortisfiliae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Drama, Dreaming, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Era, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Light Angst, Light Drama, Lucid Dreaming, Marauders, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-06-10 22:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15301890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fortisfiliae/pseuds/Fortisfiliae
Summary: A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep, in dreams you will lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for, you keep (Cinderella).





	1. Chapter 1

A hand running through your hair, skin on bare skin, feet touching feet, you found yourself lying in bed, your eyes half closed, drowsy and complete. A white sheet covered your body, his fingers lightly tugging on it, as he dragged them from your neck, over your shoulder, down your arm to the soft fabric that wrapped itself around your chest like a cotton dress made just for this moment. This perfect moment.

You shuffled slowly and turned around to look at his face that studied yours for a moment, before he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, a faint smile on his lips as he kept on staring into your eyes. Your hand met his cheek to run your fingers over his stubble. You had expected it to be spiky, but it felt like you touched nothing but air. It didn’t matter though, inside you were thriving with emotions, jubilant to have this moment, these hours of lying in bed together, sharing secrets, making memories.

“Why’re you grinning?”, Sirius asked with a raspy voice as he mirrored your featherbrained expression.

“Hmm, I don’t know”, you said. “Just thinking about stuff.”

“Stuff?”, he asked with a smirk.

“Happy stuff.”

“Thinking about me, huh?”

“Among other things, yeah”, you joked.

“Other things? How dare you”, he responded and pulled you closer to his chest, buried his head in the crook of your neck and held you tight while chuckling against your skin.

Again, his touch didn’t feel like much on the outside, but made you almost lose your mind inside, your heart overflowing with joy.

“Did you do your homework?”, he asked, still nestling against your body.

“Yes. Did you?”

“Uh-huh. What about the ducks?”

“What ducks?”, you asked as you played with a strand of hair on the back of his head.

“The ducks on the river we’re going to see.”

“What are you talking about? What ducks are we gonna see?”, you asked again, thinking he might have gone crazy a minute ago.

“We’ll see them when we wake up.”

“Sirius, what-”

“You need to wake up.”

°~°~°~°~°~°~° 

“You need to wake up, Y/N! Right now!”, a loud and high pitched voice, along with an abrupt push against your arm tore you out of your slumber and away from him.

When you opened your eyes you saw your dormmate Marlene McKinnon staring at you from above, frowning yet with a slight smirk on her lips.  
“Finally”, she sighed. “You’re sleeping so deeply lately, it’s insane. Hurry, we’re almost late for class.”

You took a moment to realise what just happened as you sat up with an effort. It’s been a dream. Sirius and you. Merlin’s beard. Of course it wasn’t real, you were just friends. But it felt so real. So good.

“Come on Ducky, will ya?”, Marlene ordered again. “McGonagall’s not going to go easy on us if we’re late again.”

“Yeah um, sorry. Thanks for waking me”, you mumbled, still confused and got up to go to the bathroom. “Hang on”, you said before entering. “What did you just call me?”

Lily laughed from the other side of the room as she finished making her bed, while Marlene sat down on her own next to Dorcas. 

“Oh, Ducky you mean?”, she asked. “That’s what you were talking about for the last minutes. Ducks.”

Shit. Since when did you talk in your sleep?

“Ducks, huh?”, you repeated, hoping you hadn’t said anything else out loud.

“Ducks and a bloke”, Lily said amusedly and folded her blanket. She grinned and started to ape: “Sirius, what about the ducks? What are you talking about?”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if it had ducks and Sirius in it, it must have been a nightmare”, you mumbled before rushing into the bathroom.

°~°~°~°~°~°~° 

The four of you reached the Transfiguration classroom only moments before the class would start, so you hurried to the back, where two desks in the penultimate row were unoccupied. Apparently nobody wanted to be in the risk zone close to the Marauders, who were sitting on two desks in the last row, so you took a seat next to Lily, right in front of James and Sirius, whereas Marlene and Dorcas sat down beside you and ahead of Remus and Peter.

While you tried to catch your breath from running, you heard the boys whispering behind you.  
“Alright girls?”, James asked loud enough for you to hear, before he cleared his throat quickly. 

Lily’s eyes squinted in annoyance for a second, but there still was a faint smile on her face when she turned around to answer: “Alright Potter.”

You turned around as well, to watch James’ face turning into an infatuated mix of confusion and amusement. He clearly hadn’t thought this through, but still enjoyed talking to Lily, even though it was quite painful to watch. While you tried to hold back your laughter, you caught a glimpse of Sirius, who was seemingly amused as well. His eyes went back and forth between the two as he chuckled at their banter, before his gaze darted over to you. 

You felt exposed somehow and could feel a wave of blush surfacing all over your cheeks, ashamed of your dream and your subconscious thoughts about him, as if he knew about it simply by looking at you, so you just sent him a thin smile and turned back around quickly.  
This was real now, you were aware he didn’t know anything about your dream, but felt embarrassed, even if you hadn’t dreamed of him on purpose. Still, it felt like a strange kind of intrusion to visualize such intimate things without the other person’s approval - especially when you were nothing more than friends.

Your thoughts of self-flagellation were swiftly interrupted by Professor McGonagall, who walked into the classroom and started her Transfiguration lesson with a revision of last week’s curriculum.

While she arranged some tools on her desk, Lily leant in closer to you and whispered: “Can’t stand looking at him since tonight, huh?”

“Excuse me?”, you hissed and bumped your elbow lightly against her arm.

“I’m kidding”, she said and giggled.

“How do you even notice anything else when you’re making James’ head spin like a Quaffle?”, you asked so quietly, you weren’t sure if she heard you properly.

“I’m good at multitasking, you know. Just like you, when you’re talking while you sleep.”

“Merlin, Lily. Please stop”, you begged, both whiny and annoyed.

“Come on, I’m just teasing you. Don’t be mad”, she said.

“Please don’t tell anyone. Especially not Potter, or any of them.”

“I won’t, I promise”, Lily said and winked at you reassuringly before both of you looked to the front of the class where McGonagall started to explain the revision.

When the class had ended and everyone stood up, gathered their books and left the room for the next lesson, you turned around to check for Lily, who yet again was talking to James. You huffed jestingly and saw Sirius waiting for his mate as well, when his gaze met yours once more. 

Sirius smiled, more with his eyes than his lips, but nevertheless not as awkward as you had done an hour ago. He took some steps towards you, so you held your books a little tighter, returned the gesture and mumbled: “Hey.”

“Hey”, he said. “So, wha-”

“Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew!”, McGonagall’s voice chimed through the half-empty room, along with a long sigh that attracted everyone’s attention. “I’d like a word with the four of you, if you please. And would the rest leave the room and head to your next class.”

“Well, sorry about that”, Sirius whispered and grinned as he started to walk towards the Professor. “See you later then.”

James groaned and shuffled to the front as well, while you heard Remus’ and Peter’s discussion next to you. 

“Moony, what do you think we did?”, Peter whispered not as quietly as he thought.

“I… I don’t know. Shut up now and start moving.”

°~°~°~°~°~°~° 

The Marauders came 10 minutes late for Charms with a handwritten excuse note from McGonagall. They all seemed tense, angry even, so no one dared talking to them for the whole lesson.

You wondered what had happened - they were exhorted by teachers at least twice a week and all they usually did was to make a joke about it. They remained in their group of four for the rest of the day and gave some people strange looks while visibly tattling about them. 

Something must have really bothered them, but you didn’t want to provoke any more fuss, so you decided to ask them later in the common room, or maybe tomorrow. You certainly didn’t need any more drama today, what you needed was a good night’s sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

A hand running through your hair, skin on bare skin, feet touching feet, you found yourself lying in bed, your eyes half closed, drowsy and complete.   
Wait - what? 

This seemed strangely familiar. You knew Sirius was right behind you, even though you hadn’t looked at him yet; you couldn’t really feel him but heard him breathe in and out slowly. How could you be so sure it was him?  
His fingers would touch your neck in a second, wouldn’t they? They did. Why did you know that?

Soon enough you realised you were dreaming the exact same dream you had had the night before, so you jolted up quickly while shielding your upper body with the blanket and turned around to look at Sirius.  
He was lying on his back now and frowned for a second with his eyes shut.

“What’re you doing?”, he mumbled, eyes still closed before rubbing his palm flat across his cheek.

“I… I’m sitting”, you said. 

“Yeah. I can tell”, Sirius answered and opened his eyes a bit. “But why?”

“Because we shouldn’t be lying in bed together.”

“Is it time for breakfast already, or what?”, he asked as he shuffled to lie on his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.

“No Sirius”, you said and snorted. “You don’t understand. We’re not a couple, we’re just friends. I’m dreaming, this isn’t real.”

He raised his head slowly and looked at you in irritation. “If you want to break up with me you can just tell me, you know. No need to come up with some ‘Ohhh this is all a dream, I’m the ghost of Christmas past’ bullshit.”

“No, I… Okay whatever, forget it.”

Dream-Sirius obviously wasn’t aware of what was going on and if you couldn’t convince him otherwise, you might as well could play along. You looked down at yourself and noticed that you were wearing a tank top anyway, so you lowered the blanket from your chest and laid back down, an arm’s length away from him.

He looked into your eyes for a while and asked: “So you don’t want to break up?”

“No”, you said and smiled. Technically you didn’t want to, even if it wasn’t possible to break up when you’re not in a relationship, but that was too complicated to explain now.

“Good”, he said, a tiny smirk on his face. “I’m glad to hear that. And you’re not a ghost?”

“Still not a ghost, nope”, you reassured him, while he reached out to hold your hand but couldn’t grasp it.

“Come closer?”, he asked and almost sounded shy, as he held up his blanket for you to slip in.

Should you? You definitely could, he asked you to. But was it right? Could it even be wrong if it was just a dream?

“Um, okay. If you want to”, you said and shuffled his way.

“Yup”, he said and nodded. “Uh-huh, that’s it, yes.”

Dream-Sirius wanted you close, really close. But he was constructed by your subconscious and you couldn’t believe how desperate it made you look for him. Theoretically you could do whatever you wanted right now and no one would ever know. You could cuddle, kiss him, or do other things and you were sure Dream-Sirius wouldn’t mind at all.   
But it would feel weird. It was one thing to dream of someone without you realising it, but when you actually figured it out and made use of it, it would make you feel like some kind of dream molester.  
So you decided not to take action and just interact with him, even if Dream-Sirius was really a version of your own mind thinking of him. Merlin, your psyche was problematic.

He pulled you even closer, brought his hand up to your face and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear before he rested his palm on your cheek. Admittedly, it felt good, but his touch was a faint replica of reality. The only thing that felt real was his smile. Those perfect teeth and dimples, the small wrinkles around his eyes when he squeezed them felt so unbelievably real and reminded you of how often you must have studied his face in the past.

“Have you done your homework?”, he asked, like he had done in the previous dream.

“Yes. Have you?”

“It’s mostly finished.”

“Don’t ask me about the ducks now”, you said smirking.

“What ducks?”

“Doesn’t matter”, you giggled. “Why didn’t you finish your homework?”

“Well, McGonagall gave us detention for no reason, so we didn’t feel like doing it.”

Oh, an updated part. Interesting. You wanted to try something and hoped it wouldn’t trigger your subconscious to wake you up.

You asked: “What did she give you detention for?”

“She said someone pulled a prank on Filch, apparently jinxed his shoes to have a mind of their own, so he was sliding up and down the corridors for two hours”, he explained. “I mean, I’d love to say this was our work, but we didn’t do it. She just assumed we did, because it was ‘exactly our style of vigilante justice’, as she called it.”

“Yikes”, you uttered. “I think I have a confession to make then.”

“For what?”

“That was me. Filch’s shoes. I did it because he seemed to follow me around constantly. And because it looked hilarious”, you told him.

“You’re kidding”, he said and couldn’t hide his grin.

“I’m not. I wish I was though. Sorry you had to pay for that.”

Sirius suddenly threw his head back and laughed wholeheartedly.   
“I can’t believe it. No, I… Hah! That’s amazing!”, he wheezed.

“You seem to be taking that quite well.”

“What? How couldn’t I? It’s hilarious!”

“I thought you’d want to kill me. The looks you guys gave everyone after talking to McGonagall were something else, really.”

He finally stopped chuckling and took a deep breath. “Well, we thought someone tried to blame it on us, but this… This is the best thing ever.”

All of a sudden you started to hear something ringing in the distance and it slowly got louder, so you figured that it must be your alarm clock and it was time to wake up and leave.

“Goodbye Sirius”, you said softly and noticed how everything around you became blurred.

“Huh?”

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°

Painstakingly you rolled over to turn off your alarm clock and sat up slowly. No oversleeping today. Great! The other girls were just opening their eyes as well, so you were pretty sure no one had heard you talking in your sleep, if you had even done it again.

When everyone was ready you made your way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. While walking you kept thinking about your dream, how brilliant the human mind must be to come up with a plausible story for things you don’t know the answer to yet. It had taken some puzzle pieces from your memory, the Marauder’s detention, as well as the one time you jinxed Filch’s shoes last week, and stuck them together so carefully, you would have believed it on the spot.

“There they are”, Marlene said and pointed to the far end of the Gryffindor table, where the guys were sitting, so the rest of you followed her and sat down with them. Lily took a seat between Dorcas and James, who was already eating next to Sirius; while you sat down opposite him, next to Peter, Remus and Marlene.

Mornings were always pretty quiet, no one liked to talk much before they had some food in their system, so Peter just sent you a sluggish nod, along with a tired smile, raised his eyebrows instead of greeting and handed the silver teapot over automatically. 

You were busy mashing your eggs with a fork when Lily asked: “So, what happened yesterday?”

“What do you mean?”, James asked before he drank from his cup.

“What did McGonagall say? You all looked super pissed afterwards, so I assume it was bad.”

“You tell them Moons”, James sighed. “I’m still mad.”

Remus exhaled a short laugh through his nose and began to explain: “Apparently someone jinxed Filch’s shoes while they were still on him and they dragged him up and down the hallways against his will for quite some time.”

You were glad your mouth was empty, because otherwise you would have choked for sure. You looked over to Sirius without thinking and caught him watching you with a strange expression on his face. He quickly dodged and carried on listening to Remus and Lily.

“Okay so you got caught”, Lily concluded.

“No”, James intervened. “That’s the thing. We didn’t do it.”

“What?”, Dorcas laughed. “But that sounds exactly like something you’d do.”

“That’s what Minnie said as well”, Peter told her.

“But she couldn’t prove it then, could she?”, Marlene asked.

“Nah she couldn’t.”

“So how can she give you detention for it then?”, Lily asked.

“That’s exactly my point”, James growled. “She can’t prove it, yet gave us three hours of detention for it. Merlin, I’m sure Snape has something to do with it. If I find out-”

“Calm down mate”, Sirius said and laughed it off. “We served our sentence, so it’s too late now anyway.”

“You’re telling me to calm down now?”, James asked and shook his head. “You were the one already making revenge plans yesterday.”

“I know, but maybe the person who did it didn’t do it to cause us trouble”, he said and took a bite from his toast.

“Where does this newfound wisdom come from now?”, James asked.

“Shut up Prongs”, Sirius said and grinned as he took another bite.

When everyone had finished their breakfast and went to class, you knew you had to talk to Sirius. You had to know if this was real, if you were really talking to him in your dreams. All this could in no way be a coincidence. How was that even possible? Maybe he knew. 

You went up to him on your way to class and made sure to walk slower than the rest of the group to fall a bit behind.

“Hi”, you said and made sure no one but him could hear you. 

“Alright?”, he said and started to walk equally as slow.

“So… How have you been sleeping lately?”, you asked and could’ve slapped yourself in the same second for it. What a stupid question.

“Um, good?”, he said and gave you a strange look.

“Okay”, you breathed and cringed. “You see, I wanted to ask… Have you had some… Weird dreams lately, by any chance?”

“No?” He frowned slightly, the right end of his mouth pulled upwards. “I never remember my dreams. What are you on about?”

Shit. 

“Oh forget it then”, you said. “I just wanted to know.”

“Are you asking me if I’m dreaming about you, or what?”

“Well, um-”

“Because I’m not, sorry to disappoint you”, he grinned. “I wish I was though, could be fun, right?”


	3. Chapter 3

A hand running through your hair, skin on bare skin - This again, huh?  
You opened your eyes and immediately knew you were dreaming the same damn dream for the third night in a row. Couldn’t your brain come up with something else by now? 

“Whoa, bloody hell!” Sirius’ startled voice chimed from behind and you could feel him moving away quickly.

You sat up and turned his way, only to watch Sirius muzzily looking around the room, his eyes darting back and forth from the ceiling to the drawers, over to you and finally downwards to the blanket that was thrown across his lower body.  
His eyes grew wide in anticipation when he tried to lift it up discreetly, which wasn’t discreet at all, to check if he was wearing something underneath.

“You’re not naked, don’t worry,” you said as you let yourself fall down onto the pillow again. No need to be uncomfortable in your own mind.

He looked at you for a second, then back to his crotch, raised his hand to move it in front of his face and stare at it, like he couldn’t believe this was real either.  
“What… How… Did we…,” he muttered and looked back at you again, so desperate for declaration you almost felt sorry for him. “What’s going on?”

“We’re dreaming. Or… at least I am,” you explained and turned your head to stare at the ceiling. It was silent for a moment. Did your mind go blank? However it was pleasant; peculiar even, to lie down and rest when you weren’t actually awake.

“I’m dreaming?” Sirius asked quietly.

“No, I am.”

“Wait, what?” His tone was feeble, as if he had used most of his energy to concentrate. “How can only you be dreaming when I’m here?”

“You’re Dream-Sirius. I think.” You sat up to watch him play with the corner of his blanket absentmindedly. 

“I’m me,” he ensured, seemingly coming to his senses again. “I’m Sirius, not a dream copy. But apparently I’m dreaming, so maybe you’re not real.” 

He threw away the blanket and crawled a little closer to you, then poked your shoulder with his pointer finger. “You don’t feel real. It’s like my brain tells me what it must be like, but I don’t really feel it, you know?”

“Touch yourself then.”

“Oh, Dream-Y/N is not wasting any time, is she?”

“No, you git,” you sighed. “I meant for you to see that it doesn’t feel real either when you poke yourself. It’s no proof that I’m not real.”

“So why do you think I’m not real then?”

You looked him in the eyes for quite some time, trying to catch any strange behaviour, something Real-Sirius wouldn’t do. But he just stared back, confidently and full of mischief, with a cocky grin on his lips. As usual. “That’s what I have to believe, since Real-Sirius assured that he wasn’t having any strange dreams ever.”

He pondered for a moment before his grin grew wider. “What a prick, huh?”

A hint of shame flashed across his face. “You lied, didn’t you?”

Sirius looked downwards, still smiling, but started to scratch his temple subconsciously. “Maybe.”

“Oh you absolute twat. Why would you do that?”

“Because,” he said. “I was overwhelmed. I’ve had two dreams of us in a bed together, where in none of them I knew I was dreaming and thought we were some kind of couple because it felt like the most normal thing in the world to me, so I just went with it.   
I only realised what was going on during breakfast when James and Remus explained why we had gotten detention and you looked at me like you had seen a ghost. And minutes afterwards you ask me if I was dreaming about you, when in both of those dreams I was super needy. It’s embarrassing. I felt like you knew something that I didn’t, or that it was supposed to be a joke, so I panicked.”

“You panicked”, you repeated a tiny bit mockingly. “What do you think I did when I implied you dreamed of me and you denied it?”

“You panicked?”

“Bloody right I did,” you said and laid back down on the mattress to look up towards the ceiling again.

Sirius did the same and plopped down next to you. “I’m sorry,” he said softly; the quietness in his tone, accompanied by a short sigh made it sound like he really meant it.

“It’s okay,” you told him. “Dreams are weird. This whole thing is weird.”

“It is,” he said. “What do you think this means?”

“No idea. We could ask Professor Bottrell,” you suggested. The Divination teacher could explain this perhaps.

“That old frump?” he asked disparagingly. “She’ll probably force you to drink twenty cups of tea so she can read your future from those soggy leaves while she’s at it.”

“Maybe,” you laughed. “But she’s still a professional.”

“A professional lunatic maybe. This woman scares me. Always tells me I have a dark future ahead, that the Grim is haunting me or whatever. Yeah, no shit Gertrude, I’m a Black and I can turn into a hound. I literally am the Grim.”

You turned your head sideways to look at him and asked: “Do you believe her?” He was still lying on his back, as did you, his chest moved up and down slowly while his eyes kept staring upwards.

“Of course not. What’s the worst that could happen to me? I won’t go to Azkaban for being an animagus.”

“Unregistered animagus,” you grinned.

“Yeah, but we’re not here to nitpick, are we?”

“We’re not,” you said. “I’ll still ask her tomorrow, maybe. She likes me. But.”

“But what?,” he asked and finally looked back at you.

“I’m still not sure if this is really you. Or if my brain is making this all up so I won’t go insane.”

“It could also be my brain making this all up,” he replied. “Don’t be so narcissistic.”

Both of you chuckled and you came to the conclusion that you couldn’t be sure about it in this moment anyway. You probably had to talk to Sirius again when you were both awake and hope he wouldn’t back out again.

“So, if this is a dream,” he said after a while, sat up and leant over so his head would float only inches above yours. “We could do anything, right?”

“Mhm,” you affirmed, not really knowing what he was up to. It seemed that your thoughts didn’t function properly when he was so close.

“I have an idea,” he grinned, took a brief moment to study your face beneath him and grabbed your hand at the same time.

It took you by surprise when Sirius stood up and pulled you with him. Still, you followed him to the window and watched him opening it in confusion.

“Sirius, what exactly do you have in mind?” you asked.

“Oh, you have a great view across the Lake from your window. Convenient, really.”

“Wha-”

He looked back at you as he opened both sides of the glass, the same dangerous grin on his face as before. “We’re going to fly, love.”  
Your face must really have shown how baffled you were, so he carried on: “Haven’t you ever had a dream where you were flying? Without a broom?”

“I had,” you said perplexedly.

“And wasn’t it the best feeling ever?”

“I guess so.”

“I hardly ever have them and we need to take advantage of it as long as we can control what happens, shouldn’t we?”

“Um, sure…”

“Come on then,” he said and stepped up onto the window frame, offering you his hand.

You took it, hurdled up there as well and took a deep breath. The sun was already rising, slowly but surely colouring half of the sky in rich orange, dropping amber sprinkles all over the Black Lake, even though half of the glowing sphere was still hidden behind the dark treetops of the Forbidden Forest.  
It reminded you of the times you had sneaked out of the castle with your friends in the middle of the night. When you were sitting on the shore, listening to James’ dumb jokes and Remus’ stories, watching night turn into day, admiring the change of colours in the sky every other minute, thinking these hours could have only been better if Sirius had been sitting next to you instead of Peter, holding your hand instead of skimming stones.

“You alright?” he asked, ironically now doing exactly that.

“I am”, you said and cleared your throat. “Now what?”

“Now we jump and hope for the best, I guess. Ready?”

“Ready.”

It took some effort to bring yourself to do it, but as you knew it only happened inside your head, both of you eventually jumped off simultaneously. The abrupt free-fall made your stomach tingle and you shrieked until the feeling suddenly stopped. You floated securely now, rose back up and both of you knew that you were able to fly wherever you wanted, using only the power of thought.

So you soared upwards, still holding Sirius’ hand, until you were approximately 50 feet up in the air and started moving away from the castle and towards the lake. You got faster with each second, the wind tousling your hair, hitting softly against your cheeks as you whizzed across the water. Even though it wasn’t nearly as freeing as real flying when you were awake, it gave you almost the same kick, but without the fear of hurting yourself. 

“This is amazing!” you cheered and looked over to Sirius, who was busy screaming in delight.

“Much more comfortable than these bloody brooms!” he called, let your hand go and did a couple of twists and turns while still dashing at full speed. 

He reappeared by your side, nudged your shoulder and offered his hand again. There was no reason to hold it anymore, except for fun, so you looked at him both amused and questioningly.

“What? Just for safety reasons,” he grinned.

Just when you took it and thought you could easily do this forever, you started to notice the familiar ringing sound in the back of your head.

“Sirius,” you frowned. “My alarm’s going off. I got to go.”

“Oh,” he said and slowed down. “Alright. See you later then.”

“Bye Sirius. It was nice dreaming of you.”

“Oh and, Y/N?”

°~°~°~°~°~°~°

The next morning wasn’t much different to any other. You got up, made your bed, brushed your teeth, got dressed and ready like every day, except that in addition to your school robes, you also wore a constant smile.

“Since when are you the morning person of the group?” Dorcas asked as you were on your way to the Great Hall with your dorm mates.

“What do you mean by that?” 

“By that I mean, since when are you grinning for more than five seconds before we even had breakfast?” she explained as you entered the hall.

“I’m just in a good mood. What’s wrong with that?”

“Betcha she had a nice dream again,” Marlene joked. “Any more ducks maybe?”

“No ducks Marlene, shut up,” you bantered.

Breakfast proceeded as quiet as usual. Tired greetings, cutlery clinking, someone coughing, an occasional “Can you pass me the butter”, until everyone had at least had a cup of tea. When your friends slowly started chatting, Sirius and you didn’t really join the conversation, but kept exchanging timid looks. You caught him staring at you four times, at least the same amount of times he caught you watching him.

On the way to your first double lesson of the day James tried to explain his new Quidditch strategy in great detail, but Lily cut him off rather quickly.

“James please spare us your plans. We’ve heard those a thousand times already,” she nagged.

“But they are the most important for us to win the cup! How can you not want to know?”

You ignored their banter and absentmindedly wandered along the group, trying to figure out a way to talk to Sirius. James had asked the guys to listen to him at least, since Lily had dismissed him.

There was no way to communicate in Charms either, since Professor Flitwick demanded everyone’s attention for the new nonverbal spells he taught.  
It kept going like this all day, either one of you was distracted by one of your friends, or needed to pay attention in class. The only time you could have talked to him was during lunch, but you weren’t alone then, so you decided to postpone your plan.

When Divination, the last class of the day, had finally ended you told Lily that you needed to talk to Professor Bottrell and that you would meet her in the common room afterwards. You watched as your fellow students left the classroom and wondered if Sirius would stay.  
He didn’t, but turned around once to look at you before he exited through the trapdoor.

“Professor,” you said. “Would you mind if I asked you something?”

“Not at all dear. Take a seat please.”

Her classroom was different to all the other ones, she didn’t even have a proper desk for herself, but a large burgundy couch with golden ornaments.

“Would you like a cup of tea?”, she asked as you sat down next to her.

“Um, no thank you. It’ll just take a minute,” you tried to dispose her attempt.

She turned around and poured some into a cup anyway. “There you go. Go on, drink it. It’s good for you.”

“Thanks,” you said, took a tiny sip and considered to leave some tea in the cup when you would leave, so she wouldn’t be able to read anything out of it.

“So, what’s it that you have on your mind?” she asked with a warm smile.

“I was wondering if you knew something about dreams.”

“I tend to know a lot about dreams, Miss Y/L/N. What do you want to know?”, she asked and leant forward with interest.

“Is there a possibility that two people can communicate in their dreams?”

“You mean when they sleep at the same time and are able to have real interactions with each other?”

“Yes.”

“Oh yes there is,” she said and poured a cup of tea for herself. “It’s known as Somnium Nexum, or dream connection in English. It happens quite often actually.”

“Oh really?”

“Indeed, dear. As you know, most wizards and witches are dreaming about other people every day. And sometimes, when the stars align, they’re not just dreaming of another, but with another. Although hardly anyone ever notices it, because people don’t tend to talk about their dreams as much, which I absolutely don’t understand. Sometimes only one person remembers the dream, which makes it hard to prove it actually happened.” 

“When the stars align…” you murmured to yourself.

“It’s not exactly clear why it happens yet, we are still trying to figure that out. What I have noticed is usually a rather strong personal connection between the two.”

You took another sip from your cup and nodded while listening to her.

“We are always looking for volunteers, so if you know anyone experiencing a Somnium Nexum perhaps, I’d appreciate if you would let me know,” she carried on and let her eyes drift off to the crystal balls behind you.

“Oh, no I don’t know anyone,” you said. “I just read this article in the Daily Prophet and thought it was very interesting.”

“I see,” she mewled.

“Thank you for your time Professor,” you said as you got up and put the half full cup on a small side table. “I appreciate it.”

“Anytime dear.”

°~°~°~°~°~°~°

Back in the Gryffindor common room you found Lily doing homework by herself. None of the Marauders were there and you hadn’t seen them anywhere in the castle on your way back.

You sat down next to her, hoping she would know where to find them and to finally be able to talk to him. “Do you know where Sirius is?” you asked.

She looked up from her books, using her finger as a bookmark and said: “James told me that Sirius wasn’t feeling so good. James has Quidditch practice right now, so I guess Peter and Remus are staying with Sirius in their dorm.”


	4. Chapter 4

No hand running through your hair, nobody’s skin touching yours, you found yourself lying in bed, your eyes half closed as you faced the wall, aware of the fact you were dreaming again.  
You reached your arm out backwards and tried to find him without looking, only to feel a soft and empty mattress behind you. Even though you had hoped the dreams would change previously, you missed the feeling of Sirius lying next to you today. Had the connection stopped, now that you knew it was really possible? Or had he decided not to come? Would he even have the choice, or was he just not sleeping right now?   
And what had happened to him anyway? Lily had told you he wasn’t feeling well. Was that something to be concerned about, or had he just eaten some spoiled pie?  
Or were those dreams really just a construct of your mind; pieces of imagination, smoke and dust, neatly put together by your brain? There still was no real proof that Sirius had actually experienced this as well.

You sat up slowly and wished to be awake, or at least unaware of dreaming, until you looked around the room and saw him. Sirius was there and that fact alone made you feel better, even though he appeared to be uneasy. He was sat on the stone windowsill and seemed to be lost in thought, looking outside with a stern expression.  
He didn’t move or look at you when you got up and went over, still watched the treetops swaying outside and picked the skin around his fingernails absentmindedly.

Sirius jumped lightly when you laid your hand on his shoulder, apparently ripped out of his thoughts by your touch, and lifted his head to send you a smile. It was thin though and didn’t reach his eyes like it usually did.

“Hey,” you said quietly and pointed to the spot on the windowsill where his feet laid.

“Hey,” he answered and tucked his legs up to make space for you to sit.

So you sat down on the opposing end and had to squeeze yourself into the narrow spot, because the space was far too small for two people to fit comfortably. You ended up sitting with your back against the stone wall, knees bent with one of your legs between Sirius’, while one of his was stuck between yours, the inside of your calves touching.

You watched him for a moment, recognised how he avoided eye contact and how he acted as if the masonry beside you had suddenly become really interesting to watch.

“So,” you said after a while. “What’s going on?”

His eyes darted over to yours for a second, but quickly dodged again and drifted over to the window. “Nothing. ‘M just in a bad mood I guess.”

“You sure?” you asked and kept on watching his every move.

“Sure,” he said and scratched the side of his neck, before he finally looked back at you. “So what did Bottrell tell you?”

Right. You had almost forgotten about the things your Divination teacher had taught you.

“Oh yeah. She said that it’s indeed possible to have those kind of connected dreams. It’s called Somnium Nexum and apparently it is quite common.”

“Really?” he asked dryly.

“Yes. But people hardly ever recognise when it happens, so there’s not much known about it yet. She said she needs volunteers to find out more, so I signed us up.”

“What?” he gasped after a moment of silence, his eyes now staring at you so intensely, you almost felt them hammering against your skin. 

“Well,” you stated and cleared your throat. “She said she’d give us house points, so I thought it was a good idea.”

“You told her? You must be kidding. Tell me you’re kidding Y/N.”

His legs were stiff around yours, tension seemingly rushing through his whole body, so you gave in and said: “Alright I’m kidding.”

Sirius sighed in relief and brought his hands up to cover his face with them. Even if you didn’t see it, you could still hear his breathy laughter and it brought a smile to your face as well. 

“You’re the worst,” he said and pressed one finger onto your knee to emphasise every word.

“I know,” you chuckled. “Call me queen of worseness.”

“I already saw myself sleeping in her nasty cabin every night,” Sirius shuddered and shook his head. “What was that even for?”

You hummed to yourself and deliberated. “For when you lied to me about the dreams.”

“Fair.”

“And…”

“And what?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I guess I wanted to not see you frown for a second.”

You had expected a witty comeback, but he said nothing and instead looked at you for the entire time. No frown, but no smile either on his face. It was the mysterious expression, the one he had only worn rarely, and every time he had done so, you weren’t able to withdraw. Every time you felt like captured prey, like deer in headlights. Every time it caught you off guard and there was nothing you could do about it.

“Thanks,” he said after a while and started to play with the ring on his middle finger. “Still want to know what happened?”

“Of course.”

He kept on looking at his hands, watched as the silver trinket circled around his digit. “She sent a letter.”

“Who-”

“Mum,” he said and raised his head. “Wasn’t a howler this time. I was quite surprised actually. But strangely enough a regular letter was worse. Because I had to read every line of her disgustingly perfect handwriting and all the things she called me written in cursive had a lot more meaning, somehow.”

“Sirius,” you mumbled and tried not to sound pityingly. 

“I pictured her, you know. How she sat down to write it. I bet she was smiling. Self-satisfied bitch.”

“What did she want?” you asked.

He raised his hand and pointed to the ring. “This.”

“A ring?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “Uncle Alphard gave it to me on my fifteenth birthday.”

“Why would she want to have it then?”

“He passed away last week. That’s why she sent the letter. To let me know. Very thoughtful.”

“Oh no,” you said and took both of his hands to rest them on your knees. “I’m so sorry. Can I do anything?”

“No, it’s okay. He was very sick for quite a while,” he said and gripped your hands a little tighter. “Mum said he left me ‘a decent amount of gold’. And only me, since he didn’t have kids. So I can move out of James’ house, I guess.”

“That’s… good,” you mumbled.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “For that she removed his picture from the family tree tapestry at home, along with mine. Alphard was her brother, and since she can’t touch the gold, she wants the silver. ‘What she believes is rightfully hers’. Her father’s ring.”

“Your ring,” you concluded and stroked over its smooth surface with your thumb. “But why would she need it?”

“She doesn’t need it, she just wants to win,” he said, anger clouding his eyes. “As always.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“It’s the only memento I have from the single decent person in my family. So my first thought was to send her a ‘go fuck yourself’ note back, but Remus and Peter talked me out of that.”

“Yeah, I guess that would not calm her down, though I agree with the message,” you said and both of you chuckled quietly.

“I don’t know yet,” Sirius said. “Maybe I’ll just ignore it and hope she won’t send more than five letters a week until I’m done with school and she can’t find me anymore.”

“That sounds like a very mature plan. Remus’ idea, I guess?”, you asked grinning.

“Of course it was.”

The two of you remained silent for another while, Sirius looked out the window again, while you watched his hands holding yours. It was strange. New. But also not as intimate as you had expected, since you couldn’t really feel anything. Talking felt normal during a dream, the touching part was what was odd.

“Thank you,” Sirius said suddenly.

“For what?” you asked.

“For listening. I didn’t want to tell you at first because the guys all wanted to help by telling me what to do, or not to do. And I thought you would do that too, but you just listened.”

“Of course,” you told him and tilted your head a bit. “I don’t know what it’s like, so I wouldn’t know what to do. But I can listen.”

He smiled, now genuinely. “I wish I was awake right now.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I can feel you, but I really can’t. I don’t even know if this is real or not.”

“Let’s wake up then,” you said decisively.

“Huh?”

“Okay, I guess it’s still the middle of the night, so lets make a pact. We try to wake up and if we can do it, we sneak out of our dorms and meet in the common room, so we finally know if this bloody ordeal is real.”

Sirus’ eyes narrowed. There was his mysterious expression again. “Deal.”

“Deal,” you said and let his hands go to try and pinch yourself.

~°~°~°~°~°~

You opened your eyes in the dark bedroom you shared with your friends. Waking up was easier than you thought, apparently because you had known you were sleeping.  
It was still nighttime, as you had thought, so you tried to detect if any of the girls were awake. You heard all of them breathing slowly, Marlene even snored quietly, so you took the chance, sat up and grabbed your wand to enlighten it, hoping it wouldn’t wake them, tiptoed to the door and quickly left.

On the way downstairs you combed through your hair with your fingers, desperately trying to fix it just a bit. In that moment you realised you were of course wearing your pyjamas. A worn out top and striped sweatpants. Elegant.  
With every step you took you got more nervous. Now that you were awake, you didn’t know if you were more scared of Sirius coming as well, or realising it had all been just a dream.

You wondered how long you would give him to come until you would go back to bed again, but that decision was not to be made, since Sirius was already leaning against the back of the sofa when you arrived in the common room, dressed equally as elegant, with a black shirt and chequered pants.  
You brushed through your hair one last time and made your way over to him, awkwardly slow and silent.

“Good morning,” he said quietly. “Or rather good night?”

“Hi,” you answered.

“Nice pants.”

“Thanks. Yours are fabulous as well,” you teased.

“Why thank you,” Sirius grinned. “So…”

“So…” you repeated. Now that the moment was there, you felt like you weren’t prepared. Talking came way easier when you were asleep.

“It’s real.”

“It is.”

“I’m glad,” he said and pushed himself away from the sofa to stand up straight. Sirius took both of your hands and ran his thumbs over your knuckles. “I feel you now. Finally.” He smiled as he stared downwards, but quickly lifted his head back up. “Thanks again.”

“Oh, don’t mention it,” you said and tightened your grip, so you could feel the ring on his middle finger. “I’m sorry. For your loss and that you have to put up with your Mother.”

“Thanks,” he said softly. “Can I just-”

Sirius pulled you closer, then let your hands go to wrap his arms around your waist and hug you. Your arms went up behind his neck, your head pressed against his chest, as he laid his own on your shoulder and you just gave each other a moment to finally feel. He was warm, you could hear his heart beating, his chest moved up and down slowly and he smelt like summer nights. 

After a minute of just breathing, you lifted your head and looked into his eyes. They were the same. Still piercing and grey, still with the same small wrinkles around them when he smiled. They were a little bit more puffy now, from sleeping and his hair was quite a mess, but the fact that you could actually run your fingers through it, made up for that. So you did.

Sirius smiled, your faces now only inches apart. He closed that small gap by leaning forward and touched your lips with his. It was soft like feathers for a second, then turned more firm but still stayed as delicate as a single petal. Lips like cushions, the warm touch around your waist tightening, his breath fanning subtly against your skin - this kiss was the first to sweep you off your feet, while it built you up at the same time.

Both of you must have grinned like idiots afterwards, and rightfully so. 

“No tongue yet, I haven’t brushed my teeth,” he joked and pulled you closer once more. He sighed and laid his head on your shoulder again. “I got you now, right?”

“You got me now,” you said and smiled.

“Good. ‘Cause you’re the literal girl of my dreams.”

The end.


End file.
